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Some Muslim weddings in Pakistan last as long as four days and some just one. Generally, rituals vary throughout Muslim regions of the Subcontinent
Pre-Wedding Rituals Many Muslim weddings involve middlemen of some sort; people responsible for introducing the two families and helping to arrange the wedding between them. These marriage brokers, with their discretion, help to prevent the family embarrassment of rejection.
Once a marriage has been successfully arranged, an engagement will take place. At the engagement, the couple exchanges gifts of clothing, toiletries, sweets and food. The groom-to-be places a
sweetmeat in the future bride's mouth (because it is a happy occasion, the bride's mouth should be sweet). The engagement period for a new couple offers them the chance to get to know each other personally.
At the engagement, a dowry amount may be decided on. This differs from other Asian wedding customs, as a Muslim dowry is by the groom to his bride. One night before the wedding, the bride's female relatives and close friends will perform the mehndi ceremony. This tradition, dating back to Mughal times, signifies the strength of love in a marriage. The bride's hands and
feet are decorated with ornate patterns using a paste consisting of henna, lemon juice, oil and water steeped in tea leaves. Also called the Gai or Gaye Holud.
The Wedding Day The wedding day consists of two parts -the nikah and the waleema. The nikah is the legal binding of the couple in a civil ceremony while waleema has a more personal element. In the nikah, a party of men including the groom, an Imam (holy man), and three representatives for the bride meet at a local mosque.
Some communities hold the nikah with the bride present or they might even hold it at an office instead of a
mosque. Based on the preferences of the families and the Imam, a few words from the Qu'ran may be spoken. The dowry, having been decided at the engagement, is then paid to the bride's family. The bride's witnesses are then asked three times whether or not she accepts the marriage and papers legally binding the couple is signed. The party returns from the nikah to begin the waleema.
Some Muslims consider the waleema unnecessary but certain communities still use the ceremony. Muslims not opting for the waleema follow the nikah with a
few simple rituals at the homes of the bride and groom. The bride, waiting at the groom's home, will welcome the party returning from the nikah. In the classic symbolism of union, the groom will place a ring on the bride's finger. The officially married couple then goes to the bride's family home for a celebratory meal.
Because the bride now officially belongs to her husband's family, she greets her natural family as an outsider. The groom will have to pay his sister-in-law to enter the house and then pay the cook to begin the meal. At the meal, men and women are served
separately. After the meal, the bride and groom are seated together and a dupatta (shawl) is placed over their heads as they recite prayers. The couple then returns to the groom's family home, paying his sister to enter. Her welcoming by the groom's family marks the bride's official entrance into their house.
For Muslims using a waleema, a hall is normally hired. To begin, the bride is dressed in an ornately decorated lengha (skirt) and blouse of red while the groom is dressed in a suit (traditionally white) and turban. The two families exchange gifts and the Imam gives an
address. No text is specifically designated for weddings so the Imam's address varies both regionally and personally. A feast follows the Imam's words - usually pillau rice, curry and…because of its scarcity on the Subcontinent… sodas.
At specific times during the meal the groom is made to haggle with the bride's sisters for both a glass of milk and his shoes (stolen by them earlier in the day). To end the waleema, the couple have a copy of the Qu'ran held over their heads while rice is scattered at their feet to wish the bride luck in her new home. The bride and groom,
now married both legally and personally, go to the groom's house to begin married life. |
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